Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
