I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
