Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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