She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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