If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
