What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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