Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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