I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
