my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Drake has all the answers
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
