best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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