I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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