I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
