Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
