Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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