dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
