You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
