So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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