You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
