Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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