Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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