Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
