so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
