Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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