dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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