Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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