YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
