No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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