if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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