I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
