your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize