Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
