So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
