i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
