Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
