Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
