I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
