I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
