my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have post one night stand depression
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
