I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
