Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Drunk is not a location!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
