In the future we'll all be gay
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
