Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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