You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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