saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
