so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize