Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
