they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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