no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
