Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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