So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
