I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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