i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are we in a gay sports bar?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
