are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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